‘Nine Things I Learnt from the Auckland Nines (Without watching any of it)’

Brad Fittler Nines

I had other commitments all of last weekend so I was unable to watch any of the Auckland Nines.

In actual fact I was doing charity work. Seriously. On no other weekend in my entire life would I have been able to say that but last weekend it was the truth. But I was still able to feel the buzz on Twitter and read about it in the paper, and in the rich tradition of people voicing their opinion on the internet. Despite having no firsthand knowledge of what they’re talking about, I present ‘Nine Things I Learnt from the Auckland Nines (Without watching any of it)’:

1. THIS CONCEPT IS A WINNER: and will be around for years to come. Mind you I think they said that about the All-Star Game. And the World Sevens. To be fair though, the All-Star game wasn’t axed for lack of interest and already we’re hearing it will return in 2015. The Nines tournament is guaranteed for another four years and provided the money is there the teams will turn up; whether the fans continue to embrace it will determine whether the prize money is there which determines whether the teams will turn up, you get the idea.

2. ROOKIES: It’s extremely tempting to get super excited about a young rookie you think is destined for big things this season based on pre-season or in this case Nines form. But it pays to remember all the players that were wrapped in cotton wool this weekend who were nowhere near Eden Park. Unless you’re in a Holden Cup Fantasy competition the last thing you want to do is to recruit one of the teenage stars you saw on the weekend too early in the draft. But at the same time, don’t leave it too late, because you know that star-in-the- making you “identified” with your keen eye and sharp insight into all things rugby league?  He’s no secret; he was seen by every other NRLCEO in your competition as well.

3. SOME PEOPLE STARTED DRAFTING TOO EARLY: How many people are now wondering what to do with Luke Keary? Lachlan Coote? David Williams? The list goes on. So many players in the mix for big things this year now shelved as unlucky picks for 2014. Not me though, fortunately my competitions draft isn’t until a week before the season starts. The only howlers I’ll be picking will be from bad management rather than bad luck.

4. THE COWBOYS HAVE PEAKED TOO EARLY: No Australian team that won the World Sevens went on to win the premiership at the end of the season. The only team that did was Wigan who won the World Sevens in 1992 in what was their most dominant era in club history.

On a related note, did anyone else find it weird when news outlets ran with the story that the Cowboys had won their first piece of silverware? I accept that given the prize money involved clubs are for the most part treating it seriously, but it still seemed weird that such a trophy be described in the same vain as the Telstra Premiership or the J.J. Giltinan Shield. I have tins of spaghetti that are older than the Auckland Nines.

5. NICKNAMES ARE TERRIBLE WHEN THEY’RE OVERUSED: I didn’t learn this from the Nines, but rather the Winter Olympics. I’ve got nothing against Alex ‘Chumpy’ Pullin, after all I didn’t know who he was five days ago but now I can’t stand him. I think it’s because of the media’s obsession with referring to him by both his full name and his nickname at the same time, all the time. Rugby league has had some great nicknames over the years and it was great to see ‘Freddie’ and ‘Beaver’ run around on the weekend but can you imagine if they were referred to as Brad ‘Freddie’ Fittler and Steve ‘Beaver’ Menzies ALL the time, for their whole careers. Go on, try it, it does your head in after a while.

6. WORKHORSE TRIES: Should NRLCEO choose to one day bring in a Fantasy Nines tournament might I suggest that the formula for a workhorse try include the criteria of not missing tackles. Back in the day I used to be in a fantasy competition where workhorse tries or forward tries, as they were known were based not only on tackles and runs but also on the forward in question keeping their missed tackles under a certain number as well. It created a nightmare of frustration and I would never push for it to be in regular NRLCEO today but having a clean sheet when it comes to missed tackles in a Nines game is as good as any defensive effort worthy of a workhorse try in an 80 minute game.

7. INJURIES HAPPEN: It’s easy to criticise the Nines because of the injury toll but injuries happen all the time. And if your players weren’t competing for a prize pool in the millions, they’d be on a paddock in Wagga or Tamworth that hasn’t seen a sprinkler in four years. Injuries are part of the game.

8. PLAYER BEHAVIOUR: 256 players and not one off-field incident. NRL players CAN behave themselves. It helps that they’re completely occupied by football mind you. By definition a player can’t misbehave off field when he’s on the field. The problem is that in a typical week there are 80 minutes of football and another 10,000 minutes where he must remain trouble free. Clubs try to fill it with training, recovery sessions and video review but there’s only so much you can do. Same goes for new tattoos. The best way to keep players out of trouble is to keep them on the field (or at least in the stadium) as much as possible. If a player misbehaves he should be made to play more, not less. Fine him to the moon and back but don’t suspend him. Get him to play more games; NSW Cup, Jim Beam Cup, hell get them into a Thursday night mixed touch footy comp if it will keep them off the streets and out of trouble!

9. THE FOOTY SEASON IS HERE: If you’ve read this far chances are you’ve been counting down the days to the start of the season since Grand Final day last year. In fact the countdown probably started the day it became apparent your team was no chance of winning it in 2013.

As an Eels fan that day was sometime in April. But a new season brings new hope, even for us Eels fans; thank goodness Corey Norman and Will Hopoate weren’t in Auckland to get injured.

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Geoff Adams

Geoff Adams is the foremost authority on Workhorse Watching. A past time no one else does mind you. Get the lowdown on all things workhorse related including Stats Per Minute.

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Geoff Adams

Geoff Adams is the foremost authority on Workhorse Watching. A past time no one else does mind you. Get the lowdown on all things workhorse related including Stats Per Minute.

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